Beyond Memories
by TicTacStory
Summary: L observed his brother in horror, but somehow undestood him...the pain he must ve felt...all those years...living in the shadow of his own brother...always...always judged differently...who could blame Beyond Birthday?   Way, WAY better than it sounds :


_**A/N Some important notes here;While im perfectly aware that L and BB are not related whatsoever,making them twin brothes just adds more depht to the "BB Murder Case" story, soo yeah, I made them twins, I dont know how I got the idea of this one-shot, but I just felt like writing something dramatic and something where two guys dont stick their tongue in eachothers troaths. I,like Mello, share great sorry for BB and I actually love that guy, AND WTF OMG BB YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME WHY DID YOU SUICIDE YOU FAIR IDIOT.**_

_**Main Character-Beyond Birthday**_

_**Secondary Character-L Lawliet**_

"Lawliet..." The man took the other`s hand, the other whom he called "Lawliet" a name no one knew, no one but his very own brother, so identical...yet soo different.

"Lawliet..." He said again, the man took his hand and softly kissed it, as if he was some god, the man...who was the man?

Beyond Birthday...

That man... the other one... the one who never slept ...what was his name?

Oh yes, L Lawliet.

Lawliet was lying down on the floor a cold floor...soo cold... for once...for once...

"For once...Lawliet...you are Beyond me..." His low voice had said, the words echoing arounfthe dark room...it was dark...the darkness...no windows...artificial darkness...the darkness...the darkness and misery of Beyond Birthday...always...

"I had always been living under your shadows...Lawliet..." his voice had something...something sad...like a little kid who got robed of that or he he loves most...and perhaps that was also true...

"...Lawliet"

L opened his eyes, being able to see...only darkness...Beyond Birthday was there...his brother... the one... the only one who knew L like L really was...also... he was also... the one who obsessingly tried to be better than L...

Now and then...ever since then...ever since A died...ever since...ever since his best friend died...commit suicide, given up...the burden he must have felt...the burden he must have felt in succeding L...Lawliet...he did this...

Tears appearing in the man`s eyes, the man, his eyes had a redish glow, it wasnt devilish glow either...it was more...the glow of being able to see it...to see when people died...their names...reminded everyone was going to die one day...

"Lawliet...why...WHY did you have to kill A?" He was screaming holding the detective`s shirt and wacking him against the white wall...white...light...Light? gulp. Light...it would never be the same...Light...the name of Kira...dying in the Light...how could he? No, L was better of dying in the dark...dying in the darkness of his brother summoned by himself, by Lawliet himself, by death himself, by faith, the cruel faith itself.

L tried to move, tried to fight back...

fight?

_-__**10 years ago-**_

_**The 15 year old Beyond Birthday, with a strenght that, lets face it, wasnt the strongest, with that strength he whammed his brother against the wall, how unusual, Lawliet and Beyond .**_

_**Lawliet grunted and pushed Beyond back, causing Beyond to fall on one of the tables, now it was Beyond`s turn to grunt. "Lawlieeeeeet!" Beyond grabbed his brother by his beautiful black hair hair and pulled them, just like two girls fighting over boys.**_

_**"Ouch!" The tables pathetically fell and brought Lawliet and Beyond with it, they were both lying on the floor, in that desserted classroom, class 2A,Lawliet had both hands in crucifix pose on the floor, his eyes were closed, for a moment Beyond thought he was dead (Um, hello, Pale skin, closed eyes, you cant blame him can you)but alas, L was QUITE alive.**_

_**"You know, you can still say sorry" He cockily said, maintaining his eyes closed.**_

_**Sorry?...SORRY?**_

_**Beyond decided to ignore that hideous remark and took advantage at L`s vulnerable position, he stood up and sat down on Lawliet,no, I mean it, he was SITTING on his brother, his brother however, remained calm and was just lying on the floor, as if he hadn`t known Beyond Birthday was there, as if he had been in a beautiful and peacefull valley with white roses, white, the coulour of hope...and grass, as if the birds had been singing and the bees ahd been if his sould abandoned his very own body...**_

_**The more Beyond look at his brother, the calmer Lawliet looked, the frustration grew and grew, he reached for his twin`s collar and pulled his body up to his own, he was ready to beat him, his eyes turninig into little stars and his hands furiously grabbing Lawliet`s collar, his breath grasping and I swear even the colour in his eyes changed a little, more red, yet still not devilsh for reasons that are beyond me, Lawliet, who was way stronger than his brother, and they both knew it after the numerous fights they have been in, Lawliet didnt move a muscle, although he knew Beyond`s mind had no hesitation, once he made his mind up about something, it was going to happen, no matter how hard or how much of his own sanity it might cost, and even when Beyond pronounced the words "You sheer idiot" and not even when Beyond`s nail dug in Lawliet`s neck and a little blood escaped his flesh, Lawliet remained calm, his eyes closed, as if he was sleeping...**_

_**Why didnt he do anything?**_

_**Why did he just let him be?**_

_**Why?**_

_**Luckily, before the twins could go any futher than they went, came in the yellow and green door, she observed the twins in horror, the sight, the posters ripped off, the tables and chairs torn across the room, her lips making a funny "O" shape making her face look even funnier than it was before (Blonde curls, curvy body, harry potter glasses) and she instantly screamed for help, as if the orphans needed that, always looked at with wide eyes, that feeling, the feeling of being different, not nice.**_

_**Other teachers instantly came and stared at them with the same horror, funny to notice that Lawliet still had his eyes shut while Beyond didnt even bother move, they were used to all this commotion, and as the teachers got Beyond of his brother, without exchanging a single word, they all tought the same "The orphans did it again" and they blankly called the orphanage, not looking twice at the twins.**_

The man known as Beyond Birthday, his long nails scratching Lawliet`s beautiful face, the scratches eventually leading to blood, Lawliet was numb, he wanted to talk but he couldnt, even if he wanted to, his body didnt respond, his mind, soul and body, three different philosophy`s yet all thinking along; Beyond Birthday was always alone...always...always...

"I was always alone...you...Lawliet...YOU TOOK EVERYTHING I HAD!" Screaming the last part, pulling his brother`s hair...Lawliet knew exacly what he ment...Thanks to the burden, the burden of succeding a man like L, drove A to suicide, A the only person who was there for BB, A, and no one else, not even his parents, mother, father, constantly comparing L and BB, Beyond Birthday kept loving them, no...more like, more like TRIED to love them..but them more they pushed Beyond Birthday back...the more...the feeling grew bigger...and as the days passed...as the days moved on...as their mother`s death day came closer and closer...Beyond Birthday...just wanted to know the feeling of being loved...and he...knowing when she was going to get hit by the train...he...knowing when their father was going to commit suicide...always reminded...always reminded that that day came closer...never experiencing the feeling of love... the envious snake that creeped up in Beyond Birthday, the envy of always being below his twin brother, slowly driving him insane...who was there to blame...?

Lawliet looked in his brother`s hatefull eyes, he felt...

sad.

L loved his brother, despite everything, despite the BB Murder Case, despite all the fights he really did care about him, too bad...too bad the feeling wasnt mutual, or atleast, not since mother and father`s funeral...

funeral...

...funeral...

_**-15 years ago-**_

_**The piano sounds filled the air, that beautiful, beautiful piano, its black chair where Beyond and Lawliet could spend hours and hours either playing the piano, or listen to eachother playing its beautiful beats.**_

_**A man started talking, a man Beyond nor Lawliet recognized, a man that spoke about their parents as if he knew them from the very beggining,**_

_**"Larissa Lians, a woman that always had her prioreties straight, her buisness that always came first, and eventually, killed this wonderful and promising woman..." The man kept on blabbing about some woman, a woman that shared the same name of Lawliet and Beyond, but it couldnt be possible that the woman from the description were actually the same person right?**_

_**The twins, both 10 year old, wearing their cute tuxedo, the ocasional woman or man who claimed to know their mother or father (which was weird, since father spent eternity locked in his room making wooden dolls, trains and, this that weirdend both the twins out, FRUITS) and complimented their looks and patted them on the head, to the twins great annoyance, truthfully, there was no one there who they knew, there was no one, just themselves, the people on stage who were talking, as if the twins got the wrong date and accidently went to another funeral.**_

_**As the man finished his speech and the twins fixed their eyes on the grass beneather their feet, as if the didnt want to listen to this man, talking about a woman and man they didnt know, when he finally finished and the last chord of Yiruma`s "Kiss The Rain" the people stood up and passed the gravestone, leaving their prayers and their flowers, it was finally the twins turn to leave their flowers, Beyond Birthday made a beautiful paper rose whereheas Lawliet had already put his white roses on the wet ground, He didnt cry, he didnt say anything, he didnt gulp nor did he say "Goodbye" as if he wanted it to get over with already, he put the roses and slowly walked away towards the man named "Watari" who was waiting for the twins, Beyond Birthday, however, fell on his knees, crushed, broken.**_

_**His hands covering his eyes, his sobs crying, his fancy trousers went to hell, the mud making them dirty, Beyond obviously didnt care, he pleaded his mother to stay, he promised that he will cook everyday, clean the house and play the piano as much as she wanted, this alarmed the old ladies that were staring at the boy in grief, the boy, Beyond Birthday, crying for a woman who didnt care about him. The sky cracked open, and perhaps it was his mother, or perhaps it was god who was crying, but the rain was pouring down, upsetting the paper rose and soaking it in its tears, Beyond always inclined to believe that that day, it was his mother crying, and for once, Beyond Birthday and his mother, finally shared something together, even if it were just tears.**_

_**Lawliet shook his brother as if to say "lets go" but Beyond would just shake him away and continue crying, he wanted that moment to last forever, Lawliet didnt understand, and neither did the old ladies, the old ladies just took Lawliet by his hand and told him that "A handsome boy like you shan`t stay out like this" and dragged a unwilling Lawliet inside with Watari, leaving the crying boy behind, Alone, as always.**_

L remembered the funeral as the day of yesterday, he felt bad, he never wanted to leave his brother alone, his brother, who slowly became a vague memory of his past, and soonly the man who obbsessed with becoming better than his brother, avenging A, A, his only friend, or perhaps...perhaps...perhaps it was for mother...maybe...

L`s eyes let out a heavy tear...this surprised Beyond Birthday, Beyond got out his knife and craved in his brother`s neck, the name "Beyond Birthday" the letter were ugly and filled with hatred, that pain...the burn of the knife...the words he was craving...the letters his brother`s name was formed by...

"Lawliet, I really didnt want to do this, but since we are both sinned to die today, I might aswell try my last experiment on you, maybe you will be able to feel the pain I felt all these years, you took everything I loved, and..."

Suddenly the man who`s shirt was covered in jam, his gloves covered with his brother`s blood, sudddenly burst out in laugther.

"Hee..ha ha ha HAA HA HA ...tee heee heh hehe haha" He inhaled deeply and blinked at his borther aas if it now he realized he was there, Lawliet`s face covered with blood, his head banged into the wall numerous times, his brother`s name burning in his neck, his palms cut by Beyond. Beyond hugged his brother...his brother...his own flesh and blood...what was he doing?

L`s naked chest cut with a star sign, his troath bleeding thanks to Beyond`s cuts, his trousers with blood stains due to Beyond`s stabs, L observed his brother in horror, but somehow...somehow...he didnt feel like...he somehow undestood him...the pain he must`ve felt...all those years...living in the shadow of his own brother...always...always judged differently...Lawliet...realized...he realized the fool he had been...

Beyond stared back into those eyes, tears appearing in his eyes, realizing what he`s doing...killing his own brother...how...how could he?

His brother...might have been the cause of A`s death...his brother might have overshadowed him...but he`s still...and always wil be...his brother...

_**-10 years ago-**_

_**The twins were sitting on the roof of Wammy`s house, at midnight, they should have been in bed already, but the twins, rules?**_

_**Please, the twins no matter what happened, they would always do what they wanted, when they wanted and where they wanted, Lawliet was chewing on his lollypop while Beyond was "drinking" his jam, they both burst out in laugther as they saw the old man known as Roger looking outside murmuring and cursing to no one in particular.**_

_**The twins would always go on the roof, and no one ever found them there, the twins were laughing about what happened that week, they ocasionally teased eachother about girls, they would also imitate the people from their years, they were having...fun.**_

_**Just like two brothers ought to have, Fun, I mean.**_

They both remembered those times...what changed them?

Oh yes,

Lawliet graduated, and soonly became the best detective in the world, whereheas Beyond Birthday was always second, and when A died, when A died...that clinched it...

Beyond cried a little on L`s bloody chest, his mood swinged inmeadiatly as he pulled his brothers hair, again writing the initials "BB" but this time on his chest, Lawliet managed to grunt a little, and was even capable of saying a word... "You moron" haras, a phrase, his last phrase, Beyond got a sense of nostalgia as he heared that familiar voice...

_**-9 years ago-**_

_**Beyond Birthday was running down the hallway in the Highschool he and his brother attended, he was breathing heavily and bumped into the local geeks who would just throw their fist in the air (after putting on their glasses) and go all "May Yoshi curse youuuuu!" **_

_**Whatever that ment.**_

_**"Hey Beyond where is your bro-" **_

_**"No time Linda, gotta run" Beyond cut her off and continued running, Linda blinked at the boy, shrugged and continued making out with her boyfriend against the locker.**_

_**Finally Beyond reached his brother`s looking, he leaned against the locker and let himself fall while he was breathing, his brother, who was casually closing his locker (this caused alot of girls to squeal.**_

_**He frowned when he realized that his brother was sitting on the floor with his knees against his chest and his thumbnail in his mouth, his usual position "" **_

_**"What what what do you MEAN what?"**_

_**"Im asking you"**_

_**Beyond stood up shook his brother "Lawliet you HAVE to save me from Wrath PLEASE" he had a expression on his face that made him sound like Bigfoot was waiting for him for a one-on-one match, but then again, did look a bit like bigfoot, if you count the facial hair.**_

_**"And what exacly am I supposed to do?" Lawliet said somewhat amusingly.**_

_**"You have Trig now dont you?"**_

_**"Yeah"**_

_**"You suck at Trig dont you?"**_

_**"..."**_

_**"Fair enough, lets switch places"**_

_**Lawliet looked doubtfull "Did you do your homework?"**_

_**"No"**_

_**"Well"**_

_**"Well what? Oh COME ON Lawliet, how many times have I saved you ass in Trig?"**_

_**"None"**_

_**Beyond again leaned against the wall and made a dramatic gesture with his hand. This caused Lawliet to laugh, which caused the giggling girls to giggle even louder.**_

_**"Fine" Lawliet sighed and pushed his brother soo he would stop his foolish act.**_

_**"Really?"**_

_**"Yes, now give me your German book"**_

_**"I dont have it here..."**_

_**"Moron"**_

_**"Jeez LOVES you soo it doesnt matter"**_

_**"She will know its Lawliet and not Beyond"**_

_**"Act like me"**_

_**"Then she wont `love` me, perhaps you should lift her skirt and make-out in the end of class, she would give you a 10 right away"**_

_**"Ok im going to gag"**_

_**"Just dont do it on my shirt"**_

_**Just then the bell rang, Beyond shot the giggling girls a glance, and like any fangirl would do, they inmediatly offered Lawliet their German book AND homework, they talked a little and when the second bell rang they all left for their classes.**_

Beyond Birthday tried to shake away the feeling, that pitch of nostalgia, the spark of sorrow he felt for his brother, all those sweet nothings must leave...every stab...every scratch...every pain he cause to Lawliet...everything...made him feel better...Lawliet didnt say anything...he let it pass..that pain...caused by his brother...the pain he himself caused his brother...the melodic piano from 15 years ago...that melody...it started playing...from where? who knows, there was certainly no piano in the room...the darkness...thanks to that melody...the darkness became a little lighter...still not light enough...still not light enough to be able to see anything clearly...that melody had experienced, their mother`s accidental death, their father`s suicide, and eventually, their own death...

death...

It could mean soo much...

Unfair death,sorrowed death,promised death,selfish death...soo many ways one can give up...

_**-15 years ago-**_

_**The twins were standing in the hallway, their father kissing their mother goodbye, who knew, who knew it was their last goodbye?**_

_**Time can change, **_

_**everything that was ever made,**_

_**Beyond who waved away at father,**_

_**His father who didnt say anything back,**_

_**His father`s torment and sorrow,**_

_**all coming back,**_

_**Their mother that kneeled down to her sons,**_

_**her proud of being the mother of he who would become the best detective in the world,**_

_**The sorrow of being the mother of he who tried to kill her proud,**_

_**She kissed lawliet softly, and hugged him for the last time,**_

_**not saying anything to Beyond,**_

_**Beyond who was staring and hoping, hoping she would look back,**_

_**Hoping she would also say something back,**_

_**But the deception he felt, **_

_**when mother had said nothing to him,**_

_**the envy he felt,**_

_**when his mother hugged Lawliet with care,**_

_**the frustration he felt,**_

_**the frustration that turned him truly mad,**_

_**his eyes going crazy, his face going sad,**_

_**the frustration of being Beyond someone,**_

_**those words she spoke, her very last words,**_

_**not aimed at him, **_

_**At last she spoke "I love you Lawliet"**_

_**At last she left, waving to Beyond Birthday**_

_**A wave at last!**_

_**The final gesture they saw,**_

_**of that black haired lady,**_

_**Unfair life, the feeling of envy.**_

_**There was no one to blame,**_

_**Beyond was alone, with no one at his side,**_

_**Well thats what he thought, until A came to light,**_

_**A who loved and cared,**_

_**L who soonly succeded**_

_**A was his succesor,**_

_**The burden was not needed.**_

_**Eventual death,**_

_**BB lost his last real friend,**_

_**His only friend,**_

_**Taken away by L,**_

_**That brother of his,**_

_**Possibly born in hell.**_

At last Beyond Birthday cut the final cut, the final phrase carved in his brother chest, "L Lawliet, Shall hell reunite you and I" taking out the gasoline, pouring it across the room, the room burning while the melodic piano touched its chords, the flames ending both their lives, Beyond Birthday and L Lawliet, dying in eachother` darkness at last.

_**A/N WOW.**_

_**Sorry for crappy chapter but my day went horrible and yeah, I will probably edit it here and there, I however hope you liked it, im thinking of doing a sequel were BB and L meet in Heaven (or hell) and yeah. Im also working on a story about L`s past (Called:The First And Last) Soo if you want a sequel please review :)**_


End file.
